cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
