In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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