I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
