i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
