O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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