this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
