bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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