Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Found the puke drawer
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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