You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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