I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you win again, gameday.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
