i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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