discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
