i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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