did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
