All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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