i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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