omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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