You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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