She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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