At least make sure they are 18
Why
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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