idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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