Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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