im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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