I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
