do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
