everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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