Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In other news, I just burned my penis
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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