He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
