I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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