At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
