Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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