sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
