i think my mom watched the whole time
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
