Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
