You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
