Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
