you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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