it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I cut my penus on the lid.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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