Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
