Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
