ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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