I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
