Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
