this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Less talking, more tequila
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
