so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
