So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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