too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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