Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
