so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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