Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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