you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
