yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
