the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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