My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
