What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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