So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize