I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
