How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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