I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
