threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
