What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
