Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
