Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
