Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
