Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
