Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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