Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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