Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
