I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
