is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
please come you make the beer taste better
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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