Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Text me some of your sweat
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
