Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
