so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
